Rebuilding trust in a relationship is not easy. One of the most significant factors which either make a relationship or breaks it is, trust.
Relationships are all about trusting one another, no matter how bad a situation gets. If there is no trust in a relationship, the relationship turns toxic and downright unhealthy, sooner rather than later.
Once trust has been broken, it seems next to impossible to get it back. When two people come in a relationship, it can be a relationship between two friends, sisters, a married couple, etc. both the people present in that relationship have a responsibility of commitment towards each other.
It is very easy to just form a relationship, but the hard part is to make it work. Making it work even when things seem impossible, that’s when you win, your relationship wins.
Trust is like a building block on which a relationship is formed. It is a pillar without which no relationship can stand. Trust can be broken in a thousand ways, in a romantic relationship, one can break trust by cheating on the other partner, or by lying to him/her.
Trust plays a very vital and significant role in all kinds of relationships. In the end it all comes down to how offensive your act was and if there is still a chance left, for you to fix it all again.
If both the partners are willing to somehow move forward from the situation and want to come back into a healthy, trustful relationship, then yes, it is possible to rebuild trust in a relationship.
To help you all, we have come up with 13 ways of rebuilding trust in a relationship. Following are the twenty ways through which one can rebuild trust in a relationship:
OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKE
One of the major mistakes one can make in a relationship is that even after breaking the other partner’s trust, he or she does not own up to their mistake.
If you have made a mistake but you are lying about it or still somehow justifying the act, this will only hurt the other person more. He or she will think maybe he will do it again if he is justifying it so much.
It is important that if you want to move forward from it, you realize it, feel guilty about it and then try to fix it. Justifying or putting blames on the other person only shows how weak is the character that you have.
So, step one is to realize your mistake and own up to it. If you lied to your partner, tell that to his or her face that you agree you lied. Before convincing your partner, the first step is to acknowledge your actions and feel guilty about them.
APOLOGIZE AS YOU MEANT IT!
Apologizing is not always easy. It means that you made a mistake and you want another chance. It might make you feel stressed and uneasy, but this is the most important step.
Apologize to your partner, not once but as many times as you can. Write it all down, why did you do it, how it affected you, how sorry you are, and how much you are willing to change.
Rehearsing helps, so rehearse of you think you tend to get nervous. Do not say all the things your partner wants to hear because then it will not be a heartfelt apology.
Apologize in a very honest and heartfelt manner. Communicate why you broker his or her trust and how sorry you feel about it. Give your partner the assurance that something like this will not happen again and promise yourself that too.
BE OPEN ABOUT ABOUT EVERYTHING
To let go of something and to come out of better from it, you need to be expressive about it. If you are the offender, while apologizing to your partner, do not just keep saying sorry.
Communicate with the other person why you did it. What you were thinking. Your partner deserves to know why you broker his or her trust.
No for instance, you lied to your partner and hid something from her. You did not tell her because you felt she will over-analyze the situation and upset herself.
You need to tell this to your partner so that you both together can work on things and be more open towards each other. Another example can be that you cheated on your partner.
Now, she will think that you cheated on her because maybe she was not enough or you did not find her attractive anymore. But you cheated on her because you have feared that she will leave you too.
You need to discuss such things openly with your partner so that he or she stops blaming themselves for your mistake. This will also help them understand your point of view.
BE A HUNDRED PERCENT TRANSPARENT
It is important that when you are apologizing, you come clean to your partner! Talk about everything you did. If you cheated on your partner and lied about something else too, now is the time to come clean.
This apology means a fresh start. You cannot have a fresh start if you were not a hundred percent honest and transparent about your past mistakes.
Telling the half-truth and making up might seem easy but imagine your partner finds out about everything from someone else later on. You will have then no chance to apologize and your relationship will have no chance of surviving this another blow.
So, it is important to come clean and be a hundred percent transparent about everything.
APOLOGIZE AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME
Time is everything. If your partner just recently found out about it and is very angry, then you might want to wait for a little before presenting your apology. Leave it entirely on your partner.
Give them the time he or she needs to process everything. Tell your partner that you need to discuss something very important. Whatever day they tell you, wait for that day and keep rehearsing your apology.
Everyone works differently. Mostly after getting hurt by someone you loved, people either make excuses for their actions or just require some space. So, the best thing to do is to let your partner decide when and where he or she wants to meet. The day they decide will mean that they are actually ready to talk to you.
Once you have apologized to your partner and told him or her everything you needed to, pause and just listen! One very important element of any relationship is to listen to what the other person is saying and answer to solve the situation not to win.
So, once you are done, listen to what your partner has to say. Listen very attentively. Show through your body language that you are very interested in what the partner has to say.
Even if your partner says something means or gets mad at you, just think to yourself that he or she is hurt. Calm yourself and try to understand your partner’s feelings.
WORDS MEAN NOTHING WITHOUT ACTION!
There is no point in apologizing if you cannot implement your words. Most people feel guilty only until the partner has not accepted their apologies. Once they do, they go back to their old habits.
This shows that all those apologies and promises very futile and empty. It shows that you were not sincere with your words.
So, rebuilding trust in a relationship requires the implementation of your words. Once your partner accepts your apology, he or she expects to see changed behaviors; better behaviors from your side.
So, you must live up to your words and show that it was a mistake you felt so guilty for.
PATIENCE IS THE KEY!
Breaking someone’s trust is a huge deal. Imagine yourself in this position, someone you love dearly and you consider this person different from everyone else because you can trust him or her with anything.
With your secrets, insecurities, things you otherwise hate saying out loud, and in the end, this very person breaks your trust. Brutal, isn’t it?
So do not expect that after your apology everything SHOULD go back to normal. Do not expect your partner to forgive you instantly. Building trust takes ages and breaking it takes mere seconds. Give him or her time and be patient. If it is meant to be, it will happen!
VALUE THE RELATIONSHIP!
We often start taking people for granted. We love the chasing part but once we have them, we make no efforts to keep them and start taking them for granted. The real test of a relationship is how much two people make efforts to sustain it.
Fall in love is easy, staying in love is hard. So, even you are in a relationship, value it and do not take it for granted. Mistakes are a part of relationships, but always try your best to be the best version of yourself for your partner.
This is how relationships work. This plays a very important role in rebuilding trust in a relationship.
If you are on the receiving end of the hurt and you are looking for ways of rebuilding trust in a relationship then the first step has to be to forgive. No matter how hurt you are, if you want to save this relationship and rebuild trust then you have to forgive your partner.
If you want to move forward in this relationship but are not willing to forgive then there is no chance that the relationship will be the same as before and it will turn toxic for you too.
Let everything out! We know you are hurt and you feel completely shattered. So, express everything, whatever you feel. Communicate with your partner about how you feel and how he or she made you feel by breaking your trust.
You must let go of anger so that it does not erupt later on. Be expressive about how you are feeling and do not blame the other person. Moving forward is all about understanding each other’s emotions.
TELL YOUR PARTNER HOW THINGS CAN BE BETTER
When being expressive with your partner, you need to be clear on how you expect this relationship to move forward. What actions are you expecting from your partner and how can you both find ways of rebuilding trust in your relationship.
Make sure that what you are expecting the other person to do is reasonable. Now, if your partner cheated on you, you cannot make it a condition to not talk to the opposite gender at all.
This is something that will always create problems in the future. This will never be a healthy relationship either. You can set a condition like if you do become good friends with someone of the opposite gender, your partner must tell you everything about it.
Make communication and sharing things with each other easy and convenient.
TALK TO A FRIEND
Do not bottle up your feelings. Talk about them with a close friend or see a professional. Bottling up will only lead to more issues and will make you feel uneasy around your partner all the time.
Not talking about it will only hurt you more. So, find someone who you can trust with such personal details and talk to them, cry all you want. This will surely help you in moving on.
Once both the partners are willing to take necessary steps in order to heal themselves from past trauma and work on rebuilding trust in a relationship, things will automatically get better.
Something like this requires time and patience. Trust comes from the consistency of actions. The best way to move forward is that the offender should apologize and live up to his words, own up his or her mistakes, and bring necessary changes in his or her behavior.
As for the partner, he or she should try to let go of the situation and forgive, this is the only way of rebuilding trust in a relationship.
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Jeremy Park, the founder of jeremylife.com, is a love and relationships expert. With a journalism degree and years of exploration, he offers valuable insights to help you live your best love life. His mission is to make the journey enjoyable and effortless.